Tag Archives: golden silence

So Simple It Hurt

The Beginning

I see you.

You see me.

I love you.

You love me.


The End

You see me.

I see you.

You lose me.

I lose you.

.

.

.

.

.

Happily.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

.

.

.

.

.

So Simple It Hurt.

In the blink of an eye it was over.

Almost before it had begun.

You know this is you and it’s true.

But.

I lied when I said I loved you.

I needed you to hurt me.

If I hurt I wasn’t dead.

Wasn’t invisible.

You were my escape into numbness.

Through you I self harmed.

You thought I was charmed by you.

I was always aware of your repulsive behaviour.

You allowed me to sink lower than ever before.

Pushing my head down when I tried to reach the surface and breathe.

I nearly drowned many times.

Drowning not waving.

You’d save me at the very last minute and I hated you.

But not as much as I hated myself.


Luv,

Me.

Isabella

xxxxx

Hiding Out

It’s 7.30pm on a Friday night and Isabella is still at work – having started at 6.30am and she is still not ready to leave.

Isabella also worked late last night until 7.30pm.

Is Isabella avoiding something?

She finds it easier to work back late as she has the energy, focus and enjoys her work, however she finds herself delaying going home tonight and she is curious as to why.

Last night with The Boy was a bad night all round – things got off to a off start when The Boy called Isabella “Precious” when she couldn’t figure out where he was when meeting up. Then, when they did meet up, The Boy was obviously annoyed which, because she was tired and wanted a glass of white wine, she reacted to. There was no fighting, no arguing or aggression, just silence. Golden silence.

Isabella did not have the energy to argue, discuss or try to make things better – she just, unusually wanted to be left alone. The urge for flight was strong, however she remained seated and in the vicinity of The Boy as much as she could – she just wanted to get out of there.

When they got home, Isabella found she couldn’t sleep – partly because she was too wound up, partly because she wanted her own space and also because The Boy was starting to snore. Ahhhh domestic bliss.

From full on passion to passive agression in 24 hours – talk about head spins and heart failure.

So Isabella got up early today, having slept in the spare bed, soundly and securely and raced off to work to ‘get things’ done. At least at work Isabella can keep her mind occupied and busy, with worthwhile tasks.

The other benefit is that she doesn’t eat much and will hopefully lose weight. Plus. The bonus people – she doesn’t drink or shop or further antagonise The Boy.

Result all around.