Am I back?

My last post was over a year ago – when I thought I had it together and was getting going again. And I was – and am. Yet I am going through yet another downward spiral that has lasted for quite a few months this year …. the positive is that I am seeing the…

I am back!

I am back. I hope. It has been a long and hard road back to feeling like I can share my life and my story. I have been struggling to see the point, to have hope or to even think that someone, anyone is interested in hearing my voice. Anyone want a tall, cold glass…

Struggling to move ahead

I truly do not know what the future holds for me and it scares me …. even though I know no-one else knows either. I have never been scared of the unknown in this way – I always felt like the master of my own destiny. However I feel I have lost the power in…

Still crying

It is almost a year since mum died and I am still grieving. Still lost. Without her, I feel like I have no direction, drive or desire to live beyond doing the minimum actions – work, clean the house, grocery shop and read. I have realised that I a lot of my passion, drive, strength…

6 months today

It’s 6 months today since mum died and the pain is easing slightly but the loneliness continues without abating. I miss her little face, her voice and her joy at always seeing me or answering the phone to me – she would always say “I was just thinking about you!”. She always seemed to be…

I have truly lost everything

Everything and everyone has gone. I am now trying to rebuild everything. Job. Career. Study. Friends. Life. Health. I lost my mum, my beautiful mum nearly six months ago. It is only now that I have started living again – some days I truly did not know how life could start being good again. Or…

What happened to my life?

What in hell happened. I am standing in the ashes of my life ….. stunned and mute…. Everyone has gone – death has taken them from me – my entire family in the last 24 months have died. My relationship is dead. I don’t have a job anymore. But I DO have the lovely option…