Unpublished Post 23rd October 2020 – I Wish

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I knew I hadn’t scratched the surface or who you were. It was unspoken about. Off bounds. But your choices spoke volumes to me.

I just couldn’t reach you to hold you tight. Instead you self medicated and I yelled. Screamed. Sobbed every day thinking and knowing I’d lose you too soon.

Well too soon for me. Not soon enough for you.

I struggle – was my ego the right choice in keeping you alive? I sometimes regret it.

I know I’ll never try to control anyone ever again.

I can’t bring you back snd it kills me.

I can’t ask anyone about you because they too are dead.

I feel you around me, see you. I love you snd miss you.

I cannot get off this ride of grief, loss and loneliness.

Luv,

Me.

❤️❤️❤️❤️

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