2013 – in reflection – was the start of the end …. although it could be argued that either the years 2011 or 2012 have equal rights to this dubious accolade.
You see, 2013 was the year that Joey entered my life – I believe somewhere around May – via an online dating app that my ego was burnt on. My ego was so deflated and ashamed that Joey was the only person I spoke to and met up with.
Text messages and emails soon led to phone calls – what Joey did not know, nor did I wish him to, was that I was always drunk when we communicated. Even over the phone – surely I slurred my words after two bottles of wine on a week night??
Finally, after a week (I know – I played very hard to get) we met up in person in a bar of my choice in the city centre. Coz – you know – safety first. That date went for eight hours – lunch, drinks and dinner. During this boozy time I felt myself drawn to him – on reflection – he played me from day one. But I was completely unaware. I was too busy thinking – oh wow! I am dateable, desirable, funny and everything that my newly ex-partner told me I wasn’t! Joey laughed at my increasingly drunken jokes, showed a sensitive side, gazed into my eyes and for the first time in years, I felt like the only woman alive in the world. Because Joey was only focused on me.
Two short dates later and I invited him into bed with the romantic, classy invitation of “So are you going to take me home and fuck me?”. After a short, stunned pause Joey immediately grabbed the bill and we were out of the there and he was in!
Ohhhhh boy was he in. We spent the remainder of the weekend in bed – only getting up for showers and alcohol – no food that I recall. Highly doubtful as by this time I was living my own life in a gorgeous apartment in a trendy suburb and white or red wine, sparkling wine and bar food was my food of choice. The cupboards were bare – although I recall him eating Skittles sourced from somewhere. Recollections are hazy as – you know – I spent the entire time drunk, having the most glorious sex of my life and sleeping – in that order.
That weekend soon led to every weekend with Joey in bed, bars and alcohol. We got on so well that we wondered why waste time? Why not have access to each other 24/7 and have Joey move in immediately.
So that is what we did – Joey moved in – officially eight weeks after our first date. July was not only the start of the new financial year – it was the start of the most tumultuous, passionate, fucked up relationship I have ever had. I know right???? Again – I do play hard to get. Safety first – never invite a stranger into your home on the first date – which I didn’t. So there. I was safe.
What I didn’t know was that Joey was a daily dope smoker – I did know he was just finishing a private investigator qualification and he was a casual/part-time actor which meant he had no daily commitments. Joey would wave goodbye to me from my newly purchased bed, using my brand new couch and TV in my gorgeous apartment while I went to my highly paid Management job. Monday to Friday – 8am to 6pm – I worked and he did what he pleased in my apartment. Great Gig for Joey!!!
What Joey did not know when he moved in was that I was a failed Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) member from 2011 and 2012 – therefore I was an active alcoholic in every manner.
Oh well. All is fair in love and war.
Within a couple of weeks, I was silently acknowledging to my alcohol addled self that ….. yes ….. I was dating my father – figuratively speaking of course. And….well…… Joey had some problems – and they were not caused by me. Well not at that time anyway.
Joey was – and still is – an incredible lover, sensitive and intellectual – all that dope smoking during the day and WarCraft while I am at work meant that he was ready for me at all times.
I saw not only my father in his past, I saw the boy in the man and I fell madly, deeply and passionately in love with him. I could not tear myself apart from him – so much so that I ended up getting myself retrenched in September – great! Not a problem! I too will go on Government benefits – just like Joey – and we can have daily sex, drugs and alcohol – what a life I threw myself into.
Yep. As I said – 2013 was the start of the end of my life as a respectable career woman and the start of an abusive, explosive and unemployed few years of my life – to date.
I am proud to announce that I am now, again, unemployed, occasionally having amazing sex with Joey and our relationship is still as fucked up as it was in 2013.
Don’t worry – I will fill in the gaps soon – my life over the last 7 years has resembled The Shining, Forrest Gump and – as a (now ex) close friend said – the worlds greatest train wreck ever seen – if not in comparison to the explosion of Earth.