I feel this crushing sadness and heaviness to my whole being – hard to describe, but like nothing can lift it, I cannot be bothered to even verbalize the pain I feel.
It is all I can do to care enough to try to get out of this funk, to even bother trying to get my message out tonight.
Not really a hard day, just a day of soul sapping, non events that I cannot control – in fact, I was fine at work but now I am at home I feel like crying. If I had the energy and the desire to discuss with The Boy.
Three things are bothering me – from the greatest to the least (I think):
- Work continues to be a point of stress – I think it will be until I see The Manager tomorrow and we have our meeting. However a huge part of me wants to listen to his (undoubtedly) negative feedback – because of course I am the all knowing – and then throw a resignation in his face. Stupid thing is that I really like my job – I just do not have support or assistance.
- Moving or not moving to Abu Dhabi. So.Over.It.
I know …. nothing of the above can be controlled by me, I know that I have to ask for help to manage the feelings of anxiety and depression. I know that this too shall pass, that I will wake up in the morning and feel better – in fact – I will feel better once I speak to The Manager tomorrow so that is one issue off my mind.
Too bad I cannot seem to shake the low feelings.
4 thoughts on “Crushing Sadness”
I am with Mel. This is a big deal to write this and post it. This is Real and Honest and that is where the juice is.
I am sorry you are so damn Sad.
I would say, “and this too shall pass….”
but I personally get REALLY pissed when people say that.
Right now you are sad. Period.
Hang In OK?
Excellent job of sharing feelings! Tough stuff!! Much love to you! xxoo Mel
Oh Mel. The fact that you have taken time out to reach out to me is humbling. Thank you so much. xxxx