What I have learnt so far:
- I am self-will run riot;
- This 2nd time around at AA has meant that my alcoholic cravings are extremely strong and painful – they are emanating from my liver and are insane. I did not have many physical cravings the 1st time, 12 months ago. Nothing like this;
- I am allergic to alcohol;
- I have a disease that is both mind and body;
- I am not weak or lazy;
- I am definitely an alcoholic in all forms;
- I cannot drink at all;
- I will never be able to control my drinking – in fact, if I start drinking again, I will relapse much quicker and my bottom will be a lot worse that it is at the moment.
- My cravings are alcoholic and for sugar, as alcohol is purely sugar.
- The fact that I grew up with an alcoholic mother and father has a lot to do with my existing self.
I am glad to be back on this path.
5 days and 20 hours sober.
4 thoughts on “Second Time Around”
You can do it! 🙂
Thank you Petra, I am afraid I have found it much more difficult this time around than the first. Isabella.
Remember that first you sober up physically, then mentally, then emotionally, then spiritually. Then relapse tends to happen in reverse.
Also I know where you’re at. Everyone who has trudged the road you’re on has been there. You seem to know that “I can’t”, with continued work, you will be able to say “I won’t”, and then “I don’t want to”. Gotta get through the early struggles to get there.
So you are saying that relapse is you are saying that relapsing is loss of spirituality, then emotions then mental which leads to a drink?
I am really looking forward to getting to the “I don’t want to” – a part of me is already there – I am spiritually exhausted and I am the one that is unmanageable.
Thank you for continuing to check in.