48 hours ‘dry’.
My routine is to have a binge, get a hangover the next day, recuperate then drink the next day … so cannot really deny I have a drinking problem. Every 2nd day is a drinking session.
My last drink was on Tuesday night – after going to AA meeting on Tuesday noon. But then went home and drank because I was lonely, resentful and depressed – 1 1/2 bottles of white wine, did not drive and got up the next day to go to work.
I immediately called the AA hotline and asked them to have a female AA woman call me to help me out.
On the way to work, I promptly had a minor car accident. I was hungover, tired and feeling a little (not a lot) seedy.
It was definately the Universe telling me to slow down, be careful – next time I could be drunk behind the wheel and have an accident. Then BAM that’s my life over.
The second coincidence was that when I got a call from the AA contact, she had been at the meeting the day before and was going to stop me to speak to me but I bolted. After I spoke to her, I lost it at work – was so stressed, pressured and worried about getting through work in time to get to the next meeting on Wednesday night.
Got to the meeting and met a cool chick who offered to have a coffee with me today ……
I keep seeing cops on the road – one was parked outside my house tonight and I thought it was luck that I wasn’t drunk. Another coincidence and another reminder that I am one drink from having my life crumble beneath me.
Don’t think for a second it is easy – it’s bloody hard – I really thought I would drink tonight but I went to a meeting and got through it. JUST.
One day at a time – sometimes one hour or one minute.
Isabella.
xx
Just reading this post, know you have one more person pulling for you. I know how difficult it can be getting started. No worse feeling.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate it – it’s the most challenging time of my life and I feel like everything is riding in me getting sober.
Isabella.
X