Back Where I Started

48 hours ‘dry’.

My routine is to have a binge, get a hangover the next day, recuperate then drink the next day … so cannot really deny I have a drinking problem. Every 2nd day is a drinking session.

My last drink was on Tuesday night – after going to AA meeting on Tuesday noon. But then went home and drank because I was lonely, resentful and depressed –  1 1/2 bottles of white wine, did not drive and got up the next day to go to work.

I immediately called the AA hotline and asked them to have a female AA woman call me to help me out.

On the way to work, I promptly had a minor car accident. I was hungover, tired and feeling a little (not a lot) seedy.

It was definately the Universe telling me to slow down, be careful – next time I could be drunk behind the wheel and have an accident. Then BAM that’s my life over.

The second coincidence was that when I got a call from the AA contact, she had been at the meeting the day before and was going to stop me to speak to me but I bolted. After I spoke to her, I lost it at work – was so stressed, pressured and worried about getting through work in time to get to the next meeting on Wednesday night.

Got to the meeting and met a cool chick who offered to have a coffee with me today ……

I keep seeing cops on the road – one was parked outside my house tonight and I thought it was luck that I wasn’t drunk. Another coincidence and another reminder that I am one drink from having my life crumble beneath me.

Don’t think for a second it is easy – it’s bloody hard – I really thought I would drink tonight but I went to a meeting and got through it. JUST.

 

One day at a time – sometimes one hour or one minute.

 

Isabella.

 

xx

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