I fully believe that I must be excruciatingly honest with myself and select others if I want a better life.
That the only way to save myself is to acknowledge the good, the bad and the ugly.
I am an alcoholic. My body reacts to alcohol as if I am allergic to it – I start disappearing with the first sip.
I become a ghost – watching from a distance as my entire being lights up like the solar system. Alter egos come out to play – it’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt. By the end of my drinking there was no fun – just blackouts, screaming, tears and revolting episodes and self loathing.
So for me – I need to fully embrace the fact I am an alcoholic, allergic to alcohol who is destined for excruciating pain if I pick up another drink.
Tough to face but life drinking is unbearable.